photos courtesy of Touch A Life Foundation

An Everlasting Gift

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Eleven years ago, Pam Cope was living the American Dream. She owned her own hair salon in Neosho, Missouri. Her husband was the vice president of a publishing company and their lives revolved around their two children, Jantsen and Crista, and fabulous vacations. But they were abruptly awoken from that dream when their 15-year-old son, Jantsen, suddenly died of an undetected heart defect. But through their grief, the Copes discovered their calling in life and found a legacy for their late son by saving orphans and child slaves.

Amarillo Magazine: Hi, Pam. Thank you so much for taking the time to talk to me.

Pam Cope: Hi Drew! You’re welcome. Thank you for covering the story.

AM: Let’s start from the beginning. Tell me about the inspiration behind Touch A Life Foundation.

PC: Well, my husband Randy and I lost our son 11 years ago. Jantsen was 15 and he was just a perfect, healthy 15-year-old. He went to football camp one day, complained of feeling dizzy and had sudden cardiac arrest. With his memorial money we had like $25,000 and we were not really sure how to spend it. And at that time we had friends that were building orphanages in Vietnam and we decided that is where we would donate the money. When we approached our friends they said ‘That’s just amazing, but we’d feel more comfortable if you travel with us to Vietnam, check out our program, and make sure this is where you want to donate your memorial money.’ I guess that was the first time we had traveled to a third world country. I had my daughter Crista, who was 11, and the three of us went to Vietnam and that’s kind of where our work started. We just saw all these kids in need living on the streets, sleeping in the markets and the parks. I met a Vietnamese woman, Bao Taylor, in the Hong Kong airport and I’ve been working with her ever since. She was a missionary and would do short-term trips. Almost two years ago she and her husband moved to Vietnam. They run our Vietnam program. We have 225 children there that we help support through all different types of empowerment programs. Our program started by just renting an apartment, getting 15 children off the street and hiring house parents. They go to school for the first time, get medical and dental care, and live as a family unit.

AM: How did you come up with the concept of Touch A Life?

PC: We [Bao and I] just kind of shared our ideas; she really wanted to start working with the street kids. For $2,500 10 years ago, we were able to rescue 15 children who were living on the streets. She would hire the house parents in connection with the underground church and we just organically grew that program by getting a home stable and renting another apartment and rescuing 15 more kids. We have 225 in our program and there are 111 we support full time. The rest is partial support. We pay tuition, help single moms who are trying to keep their families intact; we pay day care and school tuition for their kids. Some children come live at our shelters through the week and go back to their families on the weekends.

AM: Did you ever think you would do this with your life? Could you see something like this in your future?

PC: I think everybody personally wants to make the world a better place but you’re not really sure where to start the change and it was just a simple act of saying ‘This doesn’t sound like rocket science. We have the money. We have a plan. Then let’s try it.’

AM: Since you were working with Vietnam and Cambodia, how did Ghana come into the picture?

PC: We started working in Ghana four years ago. I feel like our work in Vietnam and Cambodia was laying the foundation for the work in Ghana. The work with Ghana started when my husband and I were in New York. It was a Sunday morning and The New York Times had an article about a 6-year-old boy named Mark Kwadwo who was sold by his parents to work as a slave fishing on Lake Volta. Reading the article, everything was very foreign to me. It felt like the little boy in the story was so far away, but I also felt very connected and that there was a way I could help him. That was how the work started: the article and then just reaching out to the journalist [Sharon LaFraniere] who wrote it. I was finally able to contact her and ask a lot of questions. And she connected me to the Ghanaian man who was working with these children, George Achibra. We’ve been working with George now for four years. He is actually the director of our program in Ghana.

AM: How did you connect with the Deal family?

PC: I wrote a book called “Jantsen’s Gift.” It’s our story of losing Jantsen and our journey through grief and how we found work with Touch A Life Foundation, just kind of building a legacy for our son. I have a friend who asked if I could sign a book and mail it to Ron and Nan [Deal]. She shared with me about Connor [who unexpectedly passed away two years ago]. Nan reached out to me and we met for dinner one night when they were in Dallas. It was one of those instant connections between grieving parents just speaking the same language. We continued our friendship for the next year. One day I was talking to her on the phone and she was having a really hard day, struggling with grief. I told her ‘I think you should just go to Ghana with me.” She agreed and we went in November; it was just a great trip.

AM: What was that November trip like?

PC: I took a group of five women, including Nan. It was a medical mission trip. It was a week of hanging out and playing with the kids. I had a couple of friends who made handmade quilts for all the kids in the program and embroidered their names and scriptures on them. We spent the week doing art projects and our kids had just moved into a new house so we were setting up house for them. That first week we just spent loving on the kids and having fun hanging out. The second week we had a medical team that came and 11 of our children had surgeries. We were just extra hands; when kids are post-op they need a lot of one-on-one and TLC. Nan fit into that role of Mom and the kids loved her. It was just great to see her get involved in the work. I shared with her that working with these children is really what has healed me from losing Jantsen. I saw her coming to life and finding feeling in the work as well so that was exciting for me.

AM: What is it like sitting back and watching people rescue children on Lake Volta? Do you have any déjà vu?

PC: It’s always interesting to see everybody’s reaction is pretty much the same, kind of brought to tears, overwhelmed sometimes with helplessness because you want to help all the kids. There are hundreds of thousands of kids that are in slavery there in horrible conditions. It can be overwhelming but then you look at like you’re helping one child at a time.

AM: When did you begin your work in Ghana?

PC: I went to Lake Volta four years ago. I’ve made 12 trips to Ghana and I average about three trips a year. It was really interesting to watch the whole process, how fearful the children are. A lot of times they’ve been told horrible lies that white people will kill them and harm them and they’re not really sure they can trust us when they get on the boat with us. But after 24 hours when you’ve been feeding them and giving them new clothes and telling them they can have a forever home and they see the other kids in our program, because a lot of these kids have seen each other working on the Lake, so there is this instant connection that this is really a great place. You see them softening and smiling and starting to trust and by the end of the week, it’s amazing. They are ready to learn and excited about their new lives, and so appreciative and grateful. I think it’s neat to see the transformation of going through slavery and captivity to true freedom, trusting us and thinking ‘OK, this is really happening. I’m free now.’

AM: Can you explain to me the process of rescuing the children? Do you have to pay for them while out on Lake Volta?

PC: No money exchanges hands. It’s just Ghanaian men going to other Ghanaian men and explaining, ‘I know we’ve done this for generations, but this is wrong. This is slavery.’ It’s basically just educating them that they’ve overfished the Lake so it’s not profitable to have six or seven slave children that you have to feed as well. The timing is perfect to go in and start community development and education and offer some alternative methods for them to earn a living besides using child labor.

AM: What are the slave masters’ reactions to you trying to take away the boys?

PC: A lot of these fishermen are second and third generation so they were actually working on the boats with their fathers. This is just a way of life for them so basically it’s going into a culture where this has been branded on them. I’ve seen all different scenarios. I’ve seen fishermen who know they are wrong and they are remorseful and hand [the children] over. And there are other fishermen that get violent. They’re hiding the children, they’re migrating a lot, moving around hiding from the authorities.

AM: What is the scariest situation you’ve been in? Have you ever feared for your life on Lake Volta?

PC: One time we got caught in a storm. Lake Volta is the second largest manmade lake. When they flooded the Volta region, there were trees underneath the surface. That’s why it’s so dangerous. They cast the nets for the fish and the nets get hung up on the trees. This is why they use the children to dive down to untangle the nets. The children get caught in the nets and drown. What was scary was we were actually caught in a storm and we were being thrown into these trees that were sticking up out of the lake. And I thought it was going to crack the boat in two. It’s just a very large, dark and eerie lake and when you talk to the children and you ask them ‘Have you seen anybody die?’ they all have stories. Some of them have said ‘I have lost a lot of my friends,’ or they’ll be paddling along and a dead body will pop up. There’s a lot of trauma. These kids have been through a lot and they’ve seen a lot.

AM: How do the children react once you rescue them? Do they speak openly about what they’ve seen?

PC: They can be very emotional and you have to walk cautiously. But some of them have handled their trauma more than others. We have a couple of kids in our program that are 14 or 15 and can articulate their story. One boy, John Arthur, who’s 14, was sold twice by his parents, tied to a tree and beaten, and he can articulate and tell his stories and advocate for the other kids. And for some of the other kids it’s just very hard. When they start talking it’s very emotional and they struggle with what they’ve been through. We’re dealing with very broken children that need a lot of support, love and help rebuilding their lives.

AM: What is the case with the women? What conditions are they living in?

PC: The women are sold as domestic slaves so they clean fish, care for the masters and children, do the laundry. Sexually, they’re vulnerable to being abused. A lot of girls in the program have a lot of trauma in their lives, too. When you go to the islands, the girls are definitely in slavery there.

AM: What was your life like before you lost your son and founded Touch A Life?

PC: My world was very small. I had a son and daughter. We were pretty much living the American Dream. Randy had a great job. We took great vacations. After we lost Jantsen, I was not going to go back to that lifestyle. I wanted my life to change, to have meaning and purpose. I wasn’t sure what that was going to look like, but it was just taking small steps. The first step was me getting on a plane and going to Vietnam. I really feel like everybody should do that: They should step off a plane, be in a minority, be out of your comfort zone, be in a third world country where you don’t speak the language and understand how the rest of the world lives. We don’t live, in reality, here in America, compared to other countries. That was the first really big thing. I have a lot to be thankful for. I have a lot of resources. I need to be more of a global citizen and take responsibility globally.

AM: Have you always wanted to help children and work for such a great cause?

PC: I think I always secretly wanted to, but didn’t think I was equipped or had the knowledge so that’s why I love to tell my story. I really want to encourage people to go after their dream and do what they want to do to change the world and make it a better place. I think everybody has something that they’re secretly passionate about. Jantsen was my only biological child, Crista was adopted, and I was very passionate about adoption. I think my interest was sparked because I had such a passion for adoption. I think you just have to start with what you’re passionate about and expand on that and it will organically grow on its own. My three adopted children, I truly have embraced them and you forget you didn’t physically give birth them. And I truly feel that it is part of God’s plan. [Crista is from the United States; Van and Tatum are from Vietnam.]

AM: What do you think these children need most?

PC: I think they need to be given a voice. I think that there are hundreds of thousands of kids around the world that are living in the worst situations. I’m thankful to the journalist from The New York Times. She traveled over there, drove in horrible conditions, went out on a canoe and reported the conditions of slavery on Lake Volta. That impacted my life and I know one of my main jobs is to get these kids healthy and try to prepare them to be successful in life. They need a voice so they can tell their story so people can be aware of the opportunity to help.

AM: What condition are the children in when you rescue them?

PC: They all come to us very malnourished. Their hair is a burnt-orange color. They have fungus on their feet because they are in contaminated water. A lot of them have intestinal and kidney problems because they’ve been drinking unclean water for years. A lot of them need hernia surgery because they’ve been doing strenuous labor at such an early age. The big thing is malaria. They don’t have malaria nets. It’s a global problem, just like every other third world country.

AM: Do you have any plans to work with other third world countries?

PC: I really feel like working in Vietnam and Cambodia prepared us for working in Ghana. There’s just so much work that needs to be done there. We feel like we were called to Ghana. We want to dig our heels in there and try to solve some of these problems. I think we’ve set very tangible goals that we can meet and make a difference there.

AM: Tell me about your book “Jantsen’s Gift.” What was it like taking all your feelings and memories and publishing them?

PC: That was an interesting opportunity. I was called by a literary agent from New York who had read about the story in The New York Times and did a follow-up piece after Mark was rescued. She contacted me and said ‘I think there’s a story here.’ I started working with a writer [Aimee Molloy] four years ago. It took me two years to write the book. I’d been very faithful to journaling after Jansen died. I just passed seven journals over to her. A lot of the book was written from notes in my journal. It was a journey, it was healing, it was hard. I had no idea it would be such an effort to write a book; it was a lot of work. The book came out two years ago and it will be released in paperback this summer.

AM: What are readers’ reactions to “Jantsen’s Gift?”

PC: We’ve had great feedback. That’s been encouraging. We thought the book was going to raise awareness about child slavery in Ghana but it’s really been more about people reading it and doing a personal evaluation of what they want to do with their lives. I think it’s been great for the grief community. One of the best compliments probably is everybody has loved how honest it is. It’s a memoir. And I made my mind up I was going to be really honest. There are parts of the book that are pretty raw and sad, but it was part of the grief. That’s what people have related to so that’s been encouraging.

AM: You were a guest on “The Oprah Winfrey Show” a few years ago. What was that like?

PC: I went on Oprah in February of ’07. I’ve always been supportive of Oprah. She’s done great things. Being on TV was pretty scary. But it’s one of those things when you are asked to do a presentation, if it’s something you’re passionate about, it’s easy to pull off. We were talking about the kids, my grief. Those were easy things for me to share and talk about.

AM: What projects is Touch A Life working on right now?

PC: We are starting a really big building campaign. We’re borrowing 10 acres of land [in Ghana] and we want to build enough children’s homes to house 100 children. That’s going to be a large undertaking. We would love to have three homes built within this next year. We’ll hopefully break ground by summer. Those are our realistic expectations, but we also know sometimes the best laid plans don’t always arrive in a timely fashion.

AM: What have you learned through your experiences in third world countries?

PC: You’re a Westerner going in with ideas. What I have learned over the past four years is you make a lot mistakes. It’s important that you don’t move too quickly because you don’t want to do more damage than good. Always try to use wisdom and make choices you sought a lot of advice on, you wade out. Sometimes you have to be careful so you’re not the Westerner going in, throwing money around thinking you have all the answers. Try to work within the culture.

AM: What do you tell potential volunteers, people interested in working with Touch A Life?

PC: We warn everyone ‘OK, you have to know you’re going to fall in love with the kids and you’ll be forever ruined.’ They go over and think ‘This makes sense. I can do this.’ I’m just encouraged that somehow I can offer, like Nan and Ron, an opportunity to get involved in this kind of work. It has changed my life and Randy’s life and even my kids because our kids travel with us too. That’s always exciting when people get on board.

AM: Do you see yourself reaching a stopping point? What does the future hold?

PC: I can’t imagine doing anything else. I really can’t. I see myself going to Ghana as a little old lady. I love it. Some days, don’t get me wrong, I’m like ‘Holy cow can we really keep this up?’ But when your client is an orphan child who’s been rescued out of slavery, you can find the motivation to keep going. You get discouraged. There’s always criticism that comes down the pipeline. But we’re like ‘Oh well. At least we’re trying.’ We have never assumed we were not making mistakes. It’s a learning process. The main thing is that you’re learning along the way. I don’t know what it’s going to look like 10 years from now. Anybody who wants to lock arms with us and help serve and be a part of these kid’s lives, we’re open to that.

For more information on Touch A Life Foundation, visit www.touchalifekids.org or www.facebook.com/Touch-A-Life.

by Drew Belle Zerby

After graduating from LSU in 2009, Drew Belle worked as a page designer in north Louisiana until moving to Amarillo and joining AGN Media in late 2010. In her spare time, she loves to read, travel and spout out useless movie trivia.